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It's the 1st of June 1914 and Hugh Stanton, ex-soldier and celebrated adventurer is quite literally the loneliest man on earth. No one he has ever known or loved has been born yet. Perhaps now they never will be. Stanton knows that a great and terrible war is coming. A collective suicidal madness that will destroy European civilization and bring misery to millions in the century to come. He knows this because, for him, that century is already history. Somehow he must change that history. He must prevent the war. A war that will begin with a single bullet. But can a single bullet truly corrupt an entire century? And, if so, could another single bullet save it?
Entire third series of the historic sitcom, which finds a Regency Edmund Blackadder employed as butler to the Prince Regent (Hugh Laurie), who is thicker than a whale omelette. In 'Dish and Dishonesty', Blackadder enters the world of politics while his master teeters on the brink of bankrupcy. 'Ink and Incapability' sees the rubber-faced one in a bit of a fix when his odorous manservant Baldrick (Tony Robinson) burns the only existing copy of Doctor Johnson's brand new dictionary. In 'Nob and Nobility', Edmund reluctantly turns adventurer when he agrees to rescue a French aristo in return for a huge wodge of cash. 'Sense and Senility' finds Edmund ousted from the Prince's favour when the latter takes elocution lessons from a pair of overly mannered thespians. In 'Amy and Amiability', the Prince finds true love and Blackadder finds that the lif eof a highwayman is not all it is cracked up to be. Finally, in 'Duel and Duality', the Prince puts hi sfoot in it when he soils a couple of Wellingtons, and Blackadder is forced to take his place in a duel to the death with a large-nosed Duke.
Berlin 1920 Two babies are born. Two brothers. United and indivisible, sharing everything. Twins in all but blood. As Germany marches into its Nazi Armageddon, the ties of family, friendship and love are tested to the very limits of endurance. And the brothers are faced with an unimaginable choice....Which one of them will survive? Ben Elton's most personal novel to date,Two Brothers transports the reader to the time of history's darkest hour.
Gridlock is when a city dies. Killed in the name of freedom. Killed in the name of oil and steel. Choked on carbon monoxide and strangled with a pair of fluffy dice. How did it come to this? How did the ultimate freedom machine end up paralysing us all? How did we end up driving to our own funeral, in somebody else's gravy train? Deborah and Geoffrey know, but they have transport problems of their own, and anyway, whoever it was that murdered the city can just as easily murder them.
Why are we all so hostile? So quick to take offence? Truly we are living in the age of outrage. A series of apparently random murders draws amiable, old-school Detective Mick Matlock into a world of sex, politics, reality TV and a bewildering kaleidoscope of opposing identity groups. Lost in a blizzard of hashtags, his already complex investigation is further impeded by the fact that he simply doesn't 'get' a single thing about anything anymore. Meanwhile, each day another public figure confesses to having 'misspoken' and prostrates themselves before the judgement of Twitter. Begging for forgiveness, assuring the public "that is not who I am". But if nobody is who they are anymore - then who the f**k are we? Ben Elton returns with a blistering satire of the world as it fractures around us. Get ready for a roller-coaster thriller, where nothing - and no one - is off limits.
For amiable City trader Jimmy Corby money was the new Rock n' Roll. His whole life was a party, adrenalin charged and cocaine fuelled. If he hadn't met Monica he would probably have ended up either dead or in rehab. But Jimmy was as lucky in love as he was at betting on dodgy derivatives, so instead of burning out, his star just burned brighter than ever. Rich, pampered and successful, Jimmy, Monica and their friends lived the dream, bringing up their children with an army of domestic helps. But then it all came crashing down. And when the global financial crisis hit, Jimmy discovers that anyone can handle success. It's how you handle failure that really matters.
The war on drugs has been lost. The simple fact is that the whole world is rapidly becoming one vast criminal network. From pop stars and royal princes to crack whores and street kids, from the Groucho Club toilets to the poppy fields of Afghanistan, we are all partners in crime. High Society is a story about Britain today, a criminal nation in which everybody is either breaking the law or knows people who do. It takes the reader on a hilarious, heartbreaking and terrifying journey through the kaleidoscope world that the law has created and from which the law offers no protection.
Bruce shoots movies. Wayne and Scout shoot to kill. In a single night they find out the hard way what's real and what's not, who's the hero and who's the villain. The USA watches slack-jawed as Bruce and Wayne together resolve some serious questions. Does Bruce use erection cream? Does art imitate life or does life simply imitate bad art? And most of all, does sugar-pie really love his honeybun?
Why are we all so hostile? So quick to take offence? Truly we are living in the age of outrage. A series of apparently random murders draws amiable, old-school Detective Mick Matlock into a world of sex, politics, reality TV and a bewildering kaleidoscope of opposing identity groups. Lost in a blizzard of hashtags, his already complex investigation is further impeded by the fact that he simply doesn’t ‘get’ a single thing about anything anymore. Meanwhile, each day another public figure confesses to having ‘misspoken’ and prostrates themselves before the judgement of Twitter. Begging for forgiveness, assuring the public “that is not who I am”. But if nobody is who they are anymore - then who the f##k are we? Ben Elton returns with a blistering satire of the world as it fractures around us. Get ready for a roller-coaster thriller, where nothing - and no one - is off limits.
A dark, savagely comic novel from the bestselling author of Chart
Throb.
The entire second series of Ben Elton's anarchic comedy. In 'Bambi', the boys get to go on 'University Challenge', while 'Nasty' sees Neil taking to wearing a dress. In 'Time', it looks like Rik has finally scored with a member of the opposite sex. In 'Cash', plates keep disappearing in the house. Must be a poltergeist. 'Interesting' sees a visit from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, while in 'Summer Holiday', the boys finish college and head off on a big red bus.
SMALL, WELL APPOINTED FUTURE. SEMI DETACHED. If the end of the world is nigh, then surely it's only sensible to make alternative arrangements. Certainly the Earth has its points, but what most people need is something smaller and more manageable. Of course there are those who say that's planetary treason, but who cares what the weirdos and terrorists think? Not Nathan. All he cares is that his movie gets made and that there's somebody left to see it. In marketing terms the end of the world will be very big. Anyone trying to save it should remember that.
One house. Ten contestants. Thirty cameras. Forty microphones. Yet again the public gorges its voyeuristic appetite as another group of unknown and unremarkable people submit themselves to the brutal exposure of the televised real-life soap opera, House Arrest. Everybody knows the rules: total strangers are forced to live together while the rest of the country watches them do it. Who will crack first? Who will have sex with whom? Who will the public love and who will they hate? All the usual questions. And then, suddenly, there are some new ones. Who is the murderer? How did he or she manage to kill under the constant gaze of the thirty television cameras? Why did they do it? And who will be next?
"This does indeed deserve comparisons with Blackadder" Radio Times "A knockabout, well-researched take on the working and domestic life of Shakespeare." The Guardian It's the 1590s. William Shakespeare - brought to life on screen by the inimitable David Mitchell - is at the start of his career. But no one is taking him seriously. In London, he is mercilessly mocked by his rivals and at home in Stratford he is belittled by his sullen teenage daughter. Yet he is determined to find an ending for his newest creation Romeo and Juliet. Luckily, inspiration is forthcoming. The trials and tribulations of his closest friends and family reveal the plot twists he'd been missing. And not only for this famous tragedy but for many of his finest plays. With sparkling wordplay, hilarious gags and his trademark wit, Ben Elton celebrates the great William Shakespeare and reveals the startling stories behind the playwright's best-known plays.
Flanders, June 1917: a British officer and celebrated poet, is shot dead, killed not by German fire, but while recuperating from shell shock well behind the lines. A young English soldier is arrested and, although he protests his innocence, charged with his murder. Douglas Kingsley is a conscientious objector, previously a detective with the London police, now imprisoned for his beliefs. He is released and sent to France in order to secure a conviction. Forced to conduct his investigations amidst the hell of The Third Battle of Ypres, Kingsley soon discovers that both the evidence and the witnesses he needs are quite literally disappearing into the mud that surrounds him. Ben Elton's tenth novel is a gut-wrenching historical drama which explores some fundamental questions. What is murder? What is justice in the face of unimaginable daily slaughter? And where is the honour in saving a man from the gallows if he is only to be returned to die in a suicidal battle? As the gap between legally-sanctioned and illegal murder becomes evermore blurred, Kingsley quickly learns that the first casualty when war comes is truth.
The complete Blackadder scripts by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton, Rowan Atkinson and John Lloyd. Twenty-six years ago, Edmund Blackadder made his first appearance on our screens. Comedy has never been the same since (nor indeed has history). Gathered here - in this twenty-sixth anniversary commemorative edition - are the complete scripts of Blackadder's adventures and, mostly, misadventures. Blackadder, Blackadder II, Blackadder the Third and Blackadder Goes Forth. Every word, every lie, every cunning plan and cock-up. From medieval nastiness, through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and sauteed rats of the First World War, Blackadder and his oafish underling Baldrick can be most definitely blamed for ruining England's reputation as a country with a great history. This historical record has been set down by Mr Richard Curtis, Mr Ben Elton, Mr Rowan Atkinson and Mr John Lloyd. Richard Curtis is the writer/director behind Four Weddings and a Funeral, Love Actually and The Boat That Rocked) and Ben Elton is the bestselling author and writer of The Young Ones, The Man From Auntie and The Thin Blue Line. The character of Blackadder was played by Rowan Atkinson, who is the star of the Mr Bean TV series and films, and Johnny English. The four Blackadder series, produced by John Lloyd, won numerous BAFTAs and also an EMMY.
Stark is a secret consortium with more money than God, and the social conscience of a dog on a croquet lawn. What's more, it knows the Earth is dying. Deep in Western Australia where the Aboriginals used to milk the trees, a planet-sized plot is taking shape. Some green freaks pick up the scent: a pommie poseur; a brain-fried Vietnam vet; Aboriginals who have lost their land...not much against a conspiracy that controls society. But EcoAction isn't in society: it just lives in the same place, along with the cockroaches. If you're facing the richest and most disgusting scheme in history, you have to do more than stick up two fingers and say 'peace'.
Sam and Lucy seem like the perfect couple. Successful, happy and in love. But life isn't that simple. Lucy thinks thinks Sam is a sad, cold sensitivity-exclusion zone who would rather read a newspaper than have an emotion. Sam thinks Lucy is blaming him because she can't walk past Mothercare without getting all teary. The problem is that they might be infertile. And in more ways than one. Lucy wants a baby. Sam wants to write a hit movie. And given that the average IVF cycle has about a one in five chance of going into full production, Lucy's chances of getting what she wants are considerably better than Sam's. What Sam and Lucy are about to go through is absolutely inconceivable. The question is, can their love survive? Or are the odds stacked against them once again?
Chart Throb.The ultimate pop quest. Ninety five thousand hopefuls. Three judges. Just one winner. And that's Calvin Simms, the genius behind the show. Calvin always wins because Calvin writes the rules. But this year, as he sits smugly in judgement upon the mingers, clingers and blingers whom he has pre-selected in his carefully scripted 'search' for a star, he has no idea that the rules are changing. The 'real' is about to be put back into 'reality' television and Calvin and his fellow judges (the nation's favourite mum and the other bloke) are about to become ex-factors themselves. Ben Elton, author of Popcorn and Dead Famous returns to blistering comic satire with a savagely hilarious deconstruction of the world of modern television talent shows. Chart Throb. One winner. A whole bunch of losers.
With old friends like these, who needs enemies? It's a question mild mannered detective Edward Newson is forced to ask himself when, in romantic desperation, he logs on to the Friends Reunited website in search of the girlfriends of his youth. Newson is not the only member of the Class of take back '88 who has been raking over the ashes of the past. As his old class begins to reassemble in cyberspace, the years slip away and old feuds and passions burn hot once more. Meanwhile, back in the present, Newson's life is no less complicated. He is secretly in love with Natasha, his lovely but very attached sergeant, and failing comprehensively to solve a series of baffling and peculiarly gruesome murders. A school reunion is planned and as history begins to repeat itself, the past crashes headlong into the present. Neither will ever be the same again. In Past Mortem, Ben Elton - previous winner of The Crime Writers' Association Gold Dagger Award for Popcorn - delivers both a heart-stopping thriller and a killer comic romance.
It's two fifteen a.m., you're in bed alone and you're woken by the phone. Your eyes are wide and your body tense before it has completed so much as a single ring. And as you wake, in the tiny moment between sleep and consciousness, you know already that something is wrong. Only someone bad would call at such an hour. Or someone good, but with bad news, which would probably be worse. You lie there in the darkness and wait for the answer machine to kick in. Your own voice sounds strange as it tells you that nobody is there but that a message can be left. You feel your heart beat. You listen. And then you hear the one voice in the world you least expect . . . your very own Blast From the Past.
Set in the Beverly Hills home of Oscar winning movie director Bruce Delamitri, Popcorn is a satirical comedy thriller with the firepower of a hit squad. When notorious killers Wayne and Scout interrupt Bruce's passionate introduction to Brooke Daniels, a nude model and actress, they want more than an autograph from their cinematic idol. Wayne intends to use Bruce's "art" as justification for murder. Events are disrupted by the arrival of Bruce's soon to be ex wife and spoiled teenage daughter and his producer. However, Wayne means to succeed whatever the cost.5 women, 4 men
Doris Wallace has everything a tough tabloid columnist could want: a toy boy with a regular supply of Colombian, a pretty personal assistant who might share her libidinous preferences, and the prospect of her own television show. Being sued by an actress for libel is a petty annoyance, but Doris puts her in her place by revealing her ample cleavage as she flirts with the judge and spouts populist bravado. She is ready to celebrate her victory in court when things begin to go wrong...2 women, 3 men
Little Theatre Comedy Ben Elton Characters: 3 male, 3 female Interior Set The first play written by the popular author of Popcorn, Gasping is a brilliantly funny satire on big business, the media and product exploitation. Lockheart Industries is making serious money, but Sir Chiffley Lockheart needs the buzz that finding a way to make money where none has existed before gives him. Philip, a pushy workaholic executive, suggests selling designer air. Perrier for the nostrils becomes the marketing phenomenon of the decade and millions are quickly made. People start hoarding for a rainy day and oxygen supplies run low. The Third World is plundered, creating a greater divide between the haves and have nots. The world starts gasping and only the biggest suckers survive. "A poisonously funny morality play.... A remarkable debut." London Sunday Times. "A sharp witted satire.... Extremely funny." Independent.
Ben Elton's plays in one volume for the first time Gasping: "...an often hilarious satire on yuppiedom, advertising and corporate greed" (Daily Telegraph); "...the sharpest futuristic comedy since Henceforward, and the best Green comedy since The Good Life was young."(Financial Times). Silly Cow: "It has an ingenious plot...another perfect occasion for a Ben Elton satire on the modern world..." (Financial Times). Popcorn: "An enjoyable, intelligent, thought-provoking play" (Independent); "It thrills on stage precisely because it adopts the sick humour, sickening violence and downright sexiness of the Stone-Tarantino school of film-making that Elton is satirising" (Evening Standard). |
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